kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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