Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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