His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
