Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
