soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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