wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
