very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize