She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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