Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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