Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
