Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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