I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
