I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
