its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
