Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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