im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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