I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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