Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Every concussion has its silver lining
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
