You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
