Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
