Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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