Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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