i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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