Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
