Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
