Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
