You're so nebulous sometimes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
