it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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