ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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