okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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