so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Enjoy the penises
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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