I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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