so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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