No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
