we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize