i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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