All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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