If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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