My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I forget how to act sober
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize