yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
