Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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