I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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