I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
