I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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