I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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