The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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