So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
