party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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