he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
