My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
