I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
