im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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