How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize