you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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