I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
