Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
