once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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