we have officially lost it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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