That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
