I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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