I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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