Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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