Do you still have your period?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
