He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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