so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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