you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
tell me about the fingering
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