Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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