she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize