If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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