i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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